FROM THE DESK OF: Deo
There is something on right now that is way better than House of Cards and just as good as Game of Thrones: real life British politics. In the last week since the UK voted to leave the European Union, all hell has broken loose. To be sure, the whole thing is a heartbreaking travesty and I feel terrible for my friends in the UK—but at the same time, I also can’t take my eyes off of what’s happening. It’s like a watching a train about to fall off a cliff—except the train is also on fire and everyone inside it is murdering each other with axes and crossbows like they’re on the Snowpiercer.
In the last week alone: The pound collapsed; Prime Minster David Cameron resigned; Both major parties, the Labour and the Tories, are going through a civil war with several of its leaders being back stabbed by their closest allies; and then there is Scotland deciding fuck this, we want another referendum to get out of the U.K.; Northern Ireland also wants to break away and reunite with the rest of Ireland, the fascist far right (the UKIP) has declared victory and called for a British independence day (what?); and members of the EU now seething with rage, hell bent on getting revenge on Britain. All in all, it’s been a total political blood bath. You could even argue that it’s literal with the sad murder of a Parliament member Jo Cox.
How did they even get here? I remember earlier this year, a steady stream of Brexit articles started popping up in my Facebook newsfeed. A lot of it was about economists, world leaders, and experts stating how much of a bad idea it was to leave and how it could tank the British economy and create total chaos. Too bad the British were “tired of experts”. Looking back on it, I don’t even think they could have predicted this kind of a disaster.
I’m not completely sure of the details as I’m just an outside observer, but a few years ago, Prime Minster David Cameron wanted to pacify the anti-European wing of his Conservative party by saying they will have a referendum to leave the EU. It was a convenient way to basically get them to shut up so he can go about drinking tea and masturbating to pictures of Miss Piggy or whatever it is he does in his free time. As the referendum campaigns started, the “Leave” side started getting hijacked by the extremists from the UK Independence Party. They started stoking fears that muslims from Turkey (a future member of the EU) and gypsies from Romania are coming over to take their jobs (that argument sounds eerily familiar). They even put up an incredibly racist “Breaking Point” posters where a bunch of brown skinned refugees were made to look like they were all going trying to get through the UK. Then the Leave campaign started making up promises that it would take the millions spent on the EU and put it back in the NHS (their health care system) and putting it on the side of buses. The Leave vote grew fast. Before all this though, David Cameron’s best mates, Boris Johnson and Michael Gove, whom he’d grown up with since his days at Oxford, betrayed him and defected to the Leave campaign.
Boris Johnson is this mop haired buffoon (British Donald Trump), but was also charming enough that he could persuade people to the Leave side. He was also a cunning opportunist and it was no secret he wanted to be the Prime Minister. He wasn’t even that committed to Brexit, but he saw it as an opportunity for power, and went all in with the advice of Michael Gove who would be his campaign manager.
When they won and David Cameron announced he would resign, Boris immediately became the favorite to be the next Prime Minister. His naked ambition was finally being realized. What he wasn’t prepared for was his closest ally, Michael Gove, to backstab him. The night before he was going to announce his candidacy to replace Cameron as the Prime Minister, Gove throws his hat in the race saying “I have come, reluctantly, to the conclusion that Boris cannot provide the leadership or build the team for the task ahead.” Within hours of his announcement, the members of the party backing Boris immediately switched over to Gove, leaving Boris without any support. Having been totally outmaneuvered, Boris gave a speech saying he would not run. All this time Boris never thought that a guy willing to backstab Cameron and ruin an economy to get more power would also backstab him for the same reason. I guess he is a buffoon.
A little something I learned about Michael Gove: he is a fanatic for Game of Thrones. He even penned an article about why he’s so addicted to it It’s no surprise then, that he repeatedly claims he would never run for Prime Minister, that he doesn’t have the temperament and stamina for it, that he is in full support of Boris, all the while secretly planning to take the throne for himself.
In the other side of the isle at the Labour Party, their leader Jeremy Corbyn also faced a complete mutiny. The members of his own party having a no confidence vote of 172-40. This is because he didn’t commit to campaigning for Remain because that would mean siding with his chief rival David Cameron. Once the Brexit vote happened, members of his own cabinet quit in mass, including his top aids and allies. However, since the vote of no confidence is not binding, he is now claiming he will not step down because the will of the people are still behind him. So now both parties are in a complete mess.
Meanwhile, north of the wall, the wildlings—err Scottish people are furious to have been taken out of the European Union against their will with the majority (60%) of Scots voting to stay in. They too, felt betrayed by England. A couple years ago they had an referendum to be independent of the U.K., but England promised them they were better together, and that they should stay so they will be part of the EU. England basically betrayed Scotland (again), and claimed that it’s better to be in a Union all while leading the UK out of another Union (the EU).
I don’t know how this saga will end, but if it’s anything like Game of Thrones, the bloodshed is far from over. The EU is waiting for their revenge and winter is coming in the UK.