True Confessions of a Food Lover: My Foodar Never Sleeps

adidaf: All Day I Dream About Food. Should I start my own brand?


Anyone who knows me knows that I have this uncanny affinity for food. I hesitate to call myself a “foodie” – I’m not a Yelp Elite member, I’m not the first person to try the hottest new restaurants in L.A., and my favorite places to eat at are the ones where I can enjoy an easy, no-frills, solid meal with friends – but I do admit that my food radar – “foodar”? – is on, well, pretty much all of the time.

So how exactly does this translate into my everyday life? Well, it pretty much comes down to this: my brain is hard-wired to see food everywhere. Typically this is awesome and super entertaining, but there are a few occasions during which having a foodar that never sleeps has led to a minor bout of clumsiness on my part.

Here are a few of those cases.

Meatballs / Med Balls: During a circuit training class last year, I mistakenly read the exercise “med ball lunges” as “meatball lunges”. My enthusiasm for this misread may have been the reason why I landed incorrectly during the exercise… and consequently sprained my ankle.


Rice / RICE: After said ankle-spraining incident, I immediately remembered to RICE – Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation – to make sure I was tending to the injury correctly. However, proceeding with this first-aid solution really just made me crave rice. With spam and eggs. So I ended up just sitting on my bed, leg raised and immobile, daydreaming about Filipino breakfast and attempting to draft a strategy for hobbling over to the kitchen to make this daydream become a reality.


Kirkjufell / Green Tea Matcha Almond Croissants: My friend once posted a stunning photo of the Kirkjufell Mountain in Iceland on Facebook. Everyone’s comments on the pic were about how beautiful the scenery was… until it was my turn to comment. Yes, the photo was amazing, but also, was I the only person who couldn’t help but notice how much the mountain looked like an almond croissant dusted with green tea matcha powder? This just made me hungry… and then slightly disappointed because I had no idea where to find a green tea matcha almond croissant at 10:00 p.m. on a Tuesday night.

Dreams of Feasts and Culinary Master In-Laws. I’ve had a handful of dreams in which I’ve indulged in meals that consist of foods I’m not entirely sure are actual dishes in real life. I’ve dreamt about full-blown South American feasts (why it was specifically South American beats me), overloaded party plates, and some mysterious but delicious-sounding dessert items I’ve never tried before… but one of my favorite dreams has to have been the third and final installment in a set of recurring dreams I had about five years ago. I kept dreaming that I was supposed to get married and kept fleeing the altar, and in the third dream, I just so happen to be fleeing the altar when my groom-to-be was Adam Levine, and my mother-in-law was – wait for it – Paula Deen. Now, that may seem like an unfavorable situation, but trust me, there was a silver lining: even though the wedding was called off, the reception was already paid for, which means I had full access to this fantastic dessert bar, which had all of these magical desserts, including a chocolate molten tart and a blue velvet sour cream cake. Are these real things? …Anyway, real or not, I’ve been determined to figure out how to make these magical confections ever since, and I think it’s sometimes led me to exercise a little bit of excessive ambition in the kitchen sometimes. I wonder if I’ll ever get good at baking…

When Paula Deen’s your mother-in-law and you flee the altar but you still have dessert to eat…

So, I think about food a lot. My foodar is on 24/7, 7-Eleven, IHOP hours… and even though it does lead to some clumsy moments, I have to admit: it is pretty entertaining.

Now, where to find some multigrain banana pancakes…


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