#MODERNROMANCE, TINDER GIFS EDITION

azizbookcover
Aziz Ansari

FROM THE DESK OF: Deo

Aziz Ansari wrote a book about modern romance. In it, he investigated how the internet and technology have affected modern relationships. He writes “Every one of us engages on a journey to find love and companionship. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection and truly love. This journey seems fairly standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago…. Some of our problems are unique to our time. ‘Why did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza? ‘Should I go out with this girl even though she listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods? Combos!!?’” This book was published last year, and since then, modern romance has evolved even further. For example, I’m about to go on a Tinder date—and I haven’t said one word to her. All communications thus far have been entirely in gifs.

If you don’t know, Tinder now allows you to send gifs through their messaging. I have never used this function before—mostly because I thought it was lame and it never felt right to send one. But since one of my matches sent me a gif as an introduction, I felt the need to respond with another gif. And so it went.

For your viewing pleasure, I will recreate gif for gif exactly what went down along with my thoughts  (in italics) about it.

Her:

beyonce

Woah a gif. Okay, I’ve never got one of these on here. Also, the girls never usually initiate contact so both new things are happening. Let me find a gif really quick.

Me:

fanning

That was definitely the wrong response to a good morning gif. Damn it, I’m not good at this. Why would it be hot? All she said is good morning. Oh well, on to the next swipe.

Her:

nickofferman.gif

Oh she thought it was funny. I’m back in business baby! Ron Swanson. Nicely done. She likes Parks and Rec. Noted. 

Me:

sunglasses.gif

Letting her know I’m checking her out. 

Her:

beyonce glasses

Beyonce again! She must love Beyonce. I like where this is going. 

Me:

monkey

Hmm how can I step this up and keep it light and funny. How about an orangutan taking its shirt off. 

[Side note: I’m posting only the screen shot of the gif because I couldn’t find it online. I tried all kinds of search words, including: monkey taking shirt off; orangutan undressing, sexy ape getting naked, hot monkey no shirt…. and nothing. What’s the deal, internet?! ]. 

Her:

giphy

Oh yeah, I’m getting good at this!

Me:

sealsup.gif

You put an animal. I put an animal. And now it says sup, so you have to respond. 

Her:

surprised cat

Surprised cat eh? Now what do I do. Not… sure… how… to… respond.

Me:

wilferrel

 

How about back to flirting.

Her:

halfbakedbullshit

Uh oh. This whole thing has gone too far. We haven’t said a single word to each other yet, and it’s been days now. It is bullshit! I should be typing actual words like, “Hi” or “How you doing?” Okay so I definitely type something now and end this sillyness. 

Me:

giphy (1)

Oh god no! That was definitely the wrong thing to send. Super creepy. Why is this even on here? I thought it’d be funny for half a second and immediately regret hitting send. I’m blowing it, kid. 

Her:

minaj.gif

Yikes! I know, I know. That is super creepy, okay! I think I’ve blown it. How am I going to get out of this one?

Me:

carltondrake

Screw it, here is a gif of Carlton and Drake dancing. 

Her:

rihanna

Oh yeah! Nailed it! I’m back baby! Let’s keep this dance off going.

Me:

elainedance.gif

Because I gotta show my sick dance moves off. What you got?

Her:

mrbean

Bravo! Pretty sick moves.

Me:

minions

Hilarlar! Okay this has gone on long enough. Time to ask the big question:

simoncowell.gif

Her:

pasta

pasta.gif

Okay so I guess we’re getting pasta and wine. 

No words. Just gifs. #modernromance

Hashtag wtf just happened. Hashtag Aziz help me.

 

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